choong pw

I have been working in my current company (a SME) for 7 years and still counting. Never did it trigger on me the role I am playing within the company.

I am happy with what I do, through tasks appointment, own initiative, or somewhat naturally taking up certain responsibility and role within the company. We’re basically jack-of-all-trade. There is no proper job description nor a proper line of where my role start and end.

For the past few month, I have been seriously struggling with the awareness what I have awoken inside of me. The fact that I am beginning to feel stagnated scare the hell out of me. Is not about the work not challenging. Even for a technically challenge task doesn’t even scare me.

It sounds so cliche being scare for not being scare.

Please hear me out. Being comfort zone is real. Even for the most challenging stuff does scare me on the delivery. I am working like a machine where I know the fact that how and when the task can be done, through grinding or trial and error.

That is where I begin to look outside for greater opportunities. I stumble upon a few of the great company. Taking up the role I am currently holding as a “Software Manager” to “Tech Lead” to somewhat similar kind of senior roles. I pass with flying color for all the technical interview. Mostly, has get back to me within a day or 2 to arrange for the follow up interview.

This is where all my momentum suddenly fall apart. Being such a hardcore coder has lead me to become the best of the best in my technical domain. At least within the colleague and community that I am in. I am leading my existing team through my technical skill.

Things work differently for a bigger or well-known company. I am being tested on how do I lead people with more technical skill or experience with the product or company framework.

I am wrong, with my approach. After some thought on my post interview reflection.

• I came to realize what kind or leadership I was.
• I came to realize what kind of mentor and senior I am to my colleague and juniors.
• I came to realize how bad am I in communication.
• I came to realize how I have the bad behavior to avoid all the troublesome meeting that need to be done as a manager.
• I came to realize how much I lack in the theory and methodology when I approach problem or derive solution. (All just through gut instinct)

Being a tech lead is not all about being the superior technical person in the room.

Being a tech lead is not all about being the superior technical person in the room. It is also about, empowerment. I doesn’t have to be the most technical or experience person in the room. But I need to know how to facilitate and support the team. That is what leadership is all about. Right?

With that, I am not sure how long I am still to stay. Given the opportunity and influence I still have. I can still leverage on my current environment to apply those learning improve on myself and also the team that is working with me.

Hopefully, when the time come for me to leave for another opportunity, I am more prepare take on such role. And also to leave the existing company at a much better position that it is currently.

Disclaimer, for the sake of documenting and sharing this learning. I know I’ll be exposing my loyalty I have with my current employer. Then again, the thought of knowing I’ll be regretting fear me more. I don’t care.